(google images)

                                                   "Forever is composed of nows"


Nowadays most gay-guys would drool over looks rather than knowing the person before gutting out in bed. Merely, it is too impossible to find that person who doesn't just adore you but will love you faithfully. Nowadays it is by sheer chance to find someone who  will accept all your flaws and will accept you the way you are and the way you see the world.

He  may not be forcing you to change, instead he will let you just be yourself. Now I'm talking figuratively.    Realizing how hard it is  to battle it out in the society where social media is an indispensable tool in finding hook up, quick meet ups and the likes. It is by chance to land in someone's arm without  knowing what is Grindr, Planet Romeo, Scruff and other social sites.

I admit that I'd met a handful of guys on these site, I am not clean enough to say I haven't dated anyone who happened to not  know all of these. My point is: "it is easy to meet and fuck and it is easy to dispose as well." This is the given fact that we gay-guys know. There are so many hopefuls out there, so many people who wants to love and be loved. So many gays gutting it out to find someone, their forever- and yet their behavior towards dating is somewhat shallow. Is it because we can easily find someone if we get dump? Is it because by just showing our flesh online we could easily get a hook up? Sadly, it's a big yes.

I adore how my uncle taught me about forever, how he told me to take a chance out there but to remain principled about love and relationship. At some point it helped me think to always reserved myself for someone who will definitely love me. I am not trying to be mellow-dramatic, but I  just believe that there is someone out there for me. And that principle cannot be taken away from me. It is better to hope, than to have never hoped at all.

Read more »

I was fighting for the tears not to fall, as the promised love had taken its toll on me. I am quite sure that this is the end, I have not asked for it. I have not wanted it. But with all the lies and pains I have to bear- I think it is good for us to separate ways.

We've spent out time reading emails, we've spent our days appreciating and letting each other know how much we value, how much love and care for each other. But I would have wanted it real. The real that is visible, that is invincible and not a cyber web promise. Not even a voice to utter it.
 It's almost a year, almost a year full of promises, these and that. I am grateful, I will always be.

But everything seems not to be working out. Maybe I am too aghast for support, I am too needy to fall in-love, in returned you felt like you are being abused. Like the way your exe's  did to you. But it ain't at all. I always value, I always made sure that every penny that is given is spent correctly and rightly. As the Lord knew.

I am always grateful for everything, everything from love, from the boxes of soap, chocolates and even the cards. Everything will always be valued and will remain as part of what we have. The emotional cry, the rants and the raves about  our plans. It's important.

I would be happy if one day, You will find someone who will love you more than I did. That will not ask for anything, that will just settle as your plain guy. Not me, I am so needy. And I always have to start over again.

I wish you all the best, I pray that whatever you maybe feeling right now will be wipe out. Life is an amazing gift, you may want to enjoy it. It's always a state of mind. Happiness is. 

Fly high and be free. Life is awesome.

Until here My Love. I am letting you go.

You can't go wrong with love, because love is right regardless of how many people may have been blaring rude stuff and definition about it. Still, love is the sweetest thing, a wonderful gift given by the heaven's heaven.