This time I won't talk about anything, anything that is not related to you.

A woman of  fairness  and substance, you evolve in a very different way, submissive and valor. Grew up from a very conservative family, yet you acknowledge the contribution of the outside world in your life. Had married twice and gathered three children on the both.

Your fairness  and substance is something to ponder, being the breadwinner of the family, since the husband is struggling looking for a job and stability this field ( financially ailing) or maybe he is just too lazy to look for a job, or if  he had found one and the compensation plan aren't sustainable, he will then  refused to accept it. So it turned out to be a tasked for you to fed your children, sent them to school and give them everything they needed.

It was a nice thing of you. Really dreaming  to alter the predicament of your family, let them have the "good life" that once you dreamed of for your life. To think that, you would slept late, preparing for your little mercantile then woke up early to help your kids done their home works, helping them to clearly wrote the letters, shade the drawings- instruct them to get the basin and fill it with water then soaked their feet so to protect them from falling asleep. It's a tough job, being a mother of three.

Unlucky enough to finish your studies, at early age you got married without discovering the life out there. Instead you chosed to live innocently, living like there are no other world that evolves. No wonderlands of your dream, no fantasies, you don't even have any idea of what is fairy tales,and you got  the laid back thinking. The view and the mundane you have is the heaven to you, a fairy tale of your wonderland.

Almost 2 years now, since the last time we talked. The last laugh together, the last hug and a little "open up". I am trying to envisioned how you'd looked like these days, your petite structure might be heavier or lighter nowadays. I hoped you don't feel something wrong, the last time you complained about your cough. I hope it's gone- healed.

Sharply  it is six solid years we are apart, I  acquired some  strange behavior, it is still good anyway. But to you  it is unusual, since your not used to it. But to me it is an evolvement of someone who is growing up and becoming a real person, way way contradistinct to what your husbands' seemliness.

Maybe to these days, he is still a "hen's ass" to you. Still the person you needed to flush out, needed to buckled up for something productive to do. I had caused pain to you, when your mother died this year, you had given me heads up about it, still I wasn't able to visit her last burial service. I was really busy, I have so many things to finished  during those days, it was hectic, I am also struggling financially- so to crossed the bridge without anything in my pocket would caused me trouble. I am sorry for it. I am terribly sorry for not showing up. But I know you have understand it fully. My responsibility as a father is also gearing up. She's talking now! Wanted to let you meet her soon. Looking forward for  that day..

I never forget you, I don't dare to. You are always the person I looked up, the person who gave me life and tell me the beauty of the world. But my fascination about it has never end- so I have to move, fly and discover what's in store for me. I won't forget you- never!

You will always be especial to me, more than anything I can think of.

I love you MOM...

Blabbing post

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