It is easy to get away and leave stuff hanging. It is easy to just surrender and leave the battle empty handed, in anyway, there must be something about life that is worth our time, maybe some things that excites us or whatever floats on our boats.
I have been through so many stuff in life and the best lesson I learned from all those is to never give up and just focus. Today I wanna lay some cards that I have been keeping to myself for quite sometime now.
Warning: It may startle you or you may curse me for being so stupid.
Addiction: I gotta admit that I got addicted to drugs. At first it wasn't really something that I would drool and would spent my life over and over using it, well not that I dreamt that off. But what happened to me was really worst. I never thought that at one try I would be spending my two years using it.
At first it was good, everything was really well, until the spinning wheel turns back at me. I almost lost myself, literally. It wasn't easy putting up a good decision on stopping and giving myself a chance to focus on my goals. Instead, I became a regular user, spending nights with my friends, darting the streets or spending our day and night to hotels. It was fun at first, but not on the latter. One thing that I am thankful about myself is that I was able to prove that I am still sane, that I can still make decision for my own sake. To be able to prioritize my career and achieve my goals.
There was a time when I ended up screwing myself on the streets of Makati, scared that authorities may think I am using shab's or whatnot. It was taunting, a harrowing feeling that I thought I would end up in jail. I loose control, I loose my balance. Elaborating the battle to stay sane during that harrowing experienced is daunting. It just gives chills to the bones. It was painful and nerve-wracking.
But what can I do? It happened. And one thing that I have learned from it: is to never loose your control and self-respect. To always be guided. To always make it a point that you are checking your deeds and a good evaluation is a must.
Having a set of good friends is also a must. I have screw it, I have ruined it. Yet I am here right now.