It is easy to get away and leave stuff
hanging. It is easy to just surrender and leave the battle empty
handed, in anyway, there must be something about life that is worth
our time, maybe some things that excites us or whatever floats on our
boats.
I have been through so many stuff in
life and the best lesson I learned from all those is to never give up
and just focus. Today I wanna lay some cards that I have been keeping
to myself for quite sometime now.
Warning: It may startle you or you may
curse me for being so stupid.
Addiction: I
gotta admit that I got addicted to drugs. At first it wasn't really
something that I would drool and would spent my life over and over
using it, well not that I dreamt that off. But what happened to me
was really worst. I never thought that at one try I would be spending
my two years using it.
At
first it was good, everything was really well, until the spinning
wheel turns back at me. I almost lost myself, literally. It wasn't
easy putting up a good decision on stopping and giving myself a
chance to focus on my goals. Instead, I became a regular user,
spending nights with my friends, darting the streets or spending our
day and night to hotels. It was fun at first, but not on the latter.
One thing that I am thankful about myself is that I was able to prove
that I am still sane, that I can still make decision for my own sake.
To be able to prioritize my career and achieve my goals.
There
was a time when I ended up screwing myself on the streets of Makati,
scared that authorities may think I am using shab's or whatnot. It
was taunting, a harrowing feeling that I thought I would end up in
jail. I loose control, I loose my balance. Elaborating the battle to
stay sane during that harrowing experienced is daunting. It just
gives chills to the bones. It was painful and nerve-wracking.
But
what can I do? It happened. And one thing that I have learned from
it: is to never loose your control and self-respect. To always be
guided. To always make it a point that you are checking your deeds
and a good evaluation is a must.
Having
a set of good friends is also a must. I have screw it, I have ruined
it. Yet I am here right now.