There’s that certain feeling of longingness that you questioned your existence on a daily basis. You opposed every opinion your brain may laid at. Some random thoughts you significantly don’t acknowledge for a fact that it may ruined your current disposition, and this occur every single day. Every single time you questioned your existence, your job, your passion and your life to be exact.

I’d feel the urge of traveling, the urge of extreme horniness, extreme lust for fashion. I don’t know if it is out of weirdness of oneself.



Sometimes, I feel so confused. I succumb to that belief that all dreams will come true, and that we live one day at a time. Heck, sometimes, these jargons of life makes me sick. I see people traveling, I see people buying new stuff, having lots of money, which I don’t have. I know I feel a little bit overrated on this part, but this just shows how irrelevant life is sometimes. I’d freaked out if I see new shoes being given to me for free. Damn Daniel!

On the other hand, I also feel that aggressiveness and a certain calmness that I can say can make a dead man live again. I would feel inspired, I would feel decisive and moved. And that dreams will do come true, in some certainty.

Regardless of its notion, I am human. As I am writing this, I am broke, and that I’ve lost my money. That I don’t know how to live again the next day. It’s irritating to sound like a broken record, but humans need a fucking bucks to live each day. And that is a fact of life that we tend to shift off. We always say, “man cannot live by bread alone”, damn. “No a man must live with a bread on his hand so he can eat that and live the next day. Fact! I don’t despise those who live faithfully and true to what their beliefs are. I just couldn’t be that impractical bitch trying to solve the world’s problem by telling them that.


I’m shedding tears in confusion. Let all souls be in peace and realized that we must be practical in life. And that dreaming is not dreaming when it doesn’t happened in real life at all. So as when I lust for an extreme fuck and or new shoes and whatnot, this weirdness is too much. Let alone all my frustrations be cast out and burned. I’m going… Ciao!

Ambivalence

Posted on

12/18/2016

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