I have seen death face to face. I have found his weaknesses and that is what I am going to tell you on this post.

It was a cold evening, people are sleeping, the whole world is in silence. The only sound I hear is fringing of the grass- are they moving? Widely awake, keenly observing to the movement of the night. How does it feel when I am outside sleeping, and the dripping coldness of it is drenching my body. I supposed it is hard. But I adore those fighter who traveled so far, journeying the night, battling the day to survive.

How are they going to survive for so long?  I am here peeking on this window, the only sound that  drools my hearing prowess is the chirping melody of this night. Though I am catching my breath but I know I am alive. I wish I can go back to the past I had. Fixed it and go straightly. Wait, am I regretting things now? I hope I am not. To regret is a big sin for me. But I am blaming myself.

I can still remember the days I slept with different people every night. Letting them be a one day partner project. If other has 365 days of project, but they slip and forget to do it in a day- I myself is different. I never missed a day without meeting someone. Be it in his house, hotel/motel or anywhere. That was a fun project for me. I'd call it a fun project cause I enjoyed myself. But that was the past.

I am living a whole different life now. I faced death like my best buddies. He yelled at me, scares me, snarling- but I am used to it. Who the hell care of my existence? No one. So I'd better get closer to the thing where I would land myself soon but I pray not too soon. Am I insane thinking of death? I am not. I just realized that we all are going to die, so I better get closer to it and let myself enjoy the life I have. It is a perspective that I came up recently. Maybe due to my friend's  sudden demise, and my refusal to attend of my grand mother's burial. They forced me, but I had made up my mind not to see their cadaver. I mean not that I am hypocrite, but I don't feel like nagging about their demise.


My friend was shot dead in his house. Still his family is in disbelief of his sudden death. Gone too soon, whilst my grandmother hang herself on the window. Everyone was terrified. So life's ending is uncertain. But what makes me grateful about it, I am able to gauge and give meaning to what I have today.