My heart beats so fast, my trembling voice couldn't utter words clearly. It was fast, it was shocking and even maddening to know what happened. Gasping for air as I loose balance on my sit. I lost grip upon reading the comments, while my eyes are running down the stream of comments and condolences.

Wait! what happened?

Gazing on the RIP and words of condolences made me shut off. I was hesitant at first, I was trying to decipher a joke that may be going on in this post. I was trying to figured out that it could've been just a piece of insanity as we humans like doing it. I scrolled down through messages and comments, the responses between friends and those who know him virtually. One thing that was in unison: Chuck is dead.

I faltered into my knees.Tears flew. My nerves were shaking. The news was just effin' terrible. I couldn't believed it. It's absurd, it is to much to bear. I was asking a lot of information, a lot of questions then started to sank in. Why? What happened? What's the cause of his death?

Again I went through all those comments and saw his immediate family and his best friend Alex. I hurriedly sent them a message. And the response was terrible. He died because of steroids, an overdose of it that lead to Cardiac Arrest. And so then the tremor of losing a friend kicked in. Questions have been answered, and the only thing that is hard to accept was- Chuck is gone. Chuck is dead.

"I have lost a good friend and that is you Chuck. An inspiration in life, a bad ass yet so cool and vulnerable. You're always this visionary in life. When you love, you give it your all. When you make friend, it's genuine. It is so surreal to find such a combination in someone. Yet you've got it man. It's just sad that you've left us undone and too soon man, too soon. If only I had the time to tell you about steroids and its bad effects to our health, and if only I did motivated you in using Whey protein instead. Or may have told you to just go natural.

It's pretty clear now, it is clear that you're gone. That we have lost you and the only thing that we have right now is the memories of your insanities, your coolness and those words of inspirations in life. Dude, you're the man for that. I wanted to hug you, I wanted to let you know that You're my kuya. Well, I know you know this from the very beginning since we crossed out path in social media. You're awesome- but that awesomeness is gone, that "kalbo lad full of swag" is gone. I wanted you to know that everyone is in shock. Everyone is in disbelief. But what can we do? Death is imminent, but let me assure you- your kindness and the joy you brought to us will remained forever in our hearts. We love you Chuck. Til we meet again."